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A Bengali Muslim wedding (Bengali : বাঙালি মুসলিম বিয়ে) is a Bengali wedding in accordance to Muslim faith.
It includes very few rituals and ceremonies that may span up to three days maximum. In most cases, it starts with the Dhekha Dekhi ceremony (promising of marriage). Then, nikkah (marriage registration) which is done by a kaji with a fixed denmohor (payable to wife) and it ends with the Bou Bhat ceremony that is popular as the wedding reception arranged by the groom's family. [1]
Like many non-industrial societies, [2] in Bangladeshi culture, marriage is seen as a union between two families rather than just two people. [3]
Within Bangladesh, arranged marriages are arguably the most common form of marriage [4] and are considered traditional in society. [5]
A cultural wedding is arranged by ghotoks (matchmakers), who are generally friends or relatives of the bride and groom's parents. The ghotoks facilitate introduction of the bride and groom's identity to respective parents. Families traditionally seek bride and groom matches from the same religion and good social standing, and never allow unemployed men to become grooms. In the case of an arranged marriage, if the aforementioned 'compatibility' factors are duly matched, only then is the pairing deemed an ideal match. Apart from arranged marriages there are also love marriages and semi-arranged marriages which are based more upon the preferences and wishes of the partners than strict traditional norms, though love marriage is forbidden by most of the families[ citation needed ] and inter-gender friendship is frowned upon by the society. [5] [6] [7]
Once the arrangement is done, the planning of the wedding itself is done by parents. They usually start the planning the wedding venue many or few months ahead or in some cases some weeks ahead. [3] [8]
The official engagement must follow from formal consent given by the family elders from both sides. Through a ceremony called paka-dekha or dekha-dekhi, the alliance is formalised so final wedding preparations can proceed in due course with confidence that it is indeed intentional and assured to take place. Paka-dekha is celebrated on a day when both families convene at either side's home to fix the final date and time of day of the marriage, and entertain any demands made by the groom's family in order to ensure that the bride's future is well assured. Sometimes priests may also officiate, documenting the marriage's specifications for legal/government purposes, and setting the details on paper (or in current-day digital form) and signing it from both sides' present eldest guardians.
After the legal formalities, the participants are served traditional sweets such as rasgullas and mishti doi, generally catered by the groom's side.
Following the paka-dekha, public announcements of "the auspicious alliance" are made in the localities of both sides. In modern times, this is normally done using a wedding-card.
Paan chini, chini paan or sinifaan is a tradition to give two betel leaves and areca nuts to the guests at any auspicious occasion. Thus the name was derived from the servings. 'Paan' (betel leaf) being served with silver foil signals festivity and during such propitious occasions it is also common to bring sweets. These gestures friendship and a heartening promise. [3]
This ritual is followed by Gaye Holud or turmeric ceremonies (Bengali : গায়ে হলুদ gaee holud , lit. "yellowing the body") take place before the wedding ceremony. [9] There is one turmeric ceremony for the bride and another for the groom. For the bride's gaye holud, the groom's family - except the groom himself - travel in procession to the bride's home. They carry with them the bride's wedding dress/outfit, some wedding decorations including turmeric paste (that has lightly touched the groom's body), candy/sweetmeats and gifts. They also take a large Ilish or Rohu fish decorated as a bride. After the two 'yellowing ceremonies,' the bride and groom are bathed in the water that the women had fetched from the waterway early that morning. There are local variations on this tradition, such as providing a specific number of fish to the party responsible for cooking them, and hence the best time to deliver the fresh fish to the groom's family.
The procession traditionally centers on the female relative and friends of bride, and the paste is prepared by five married women called 'Eyo-stree,' and they traditionally all wear matching clothes, usually orange in colour. The bride is seated on a sheel-nora, and the women walk encircling her, showering Ganga water drops upon the bride.
The turmeric paste is applied to the bride's skin by her friends. This is said to soften the skin, but it also colours her in the distinctive yellow hue that gives its name to this ceremony. The sweets are then fed to the bride by all involved, one at a time. Then a feast for the guests is served. Married women present may also stain each other with turmeric paste. Brides also adorn their hands, arms and feet with Alta (dye) or Henna (also known as Mehendi) on this day. [10] [11] Meyeli Git (Female Song) folk song which are sung by rural women individually or collectively at family gatherings and social ceremonies, are sung during different marriage rituals, such as the gaye halud ceremony, the bride and bridegroom bathing ceremony, while the bride is being dressed, the welcome and farewell to the bridegroom, and the farewell to the bride. [12]
The wedding ceremony (Bengali : বিয়া or বিয়েbiya or biye) follows the Gaye Holud ceremonies. The wedding ceremony is arranged by the bride's family. The groom, along with his friends and family (Borjatri), traditionally arrive later in the evening.
The groom is sent a car from the bride's side and he rides inside it with two elder male relatives, one from the bride's side and another from his own family (called his Borkorta), as well as the youngest male member from his family dressed as a groom, (called his Neet bor similar to the "best man" in western traditions). Before leaving for the wedding venue, the groom is blessed by his mother and he formally seeks her permission to begin a new life with his soon-to-be "better half". The groom's mother in a Muslim wedding leaves along with the groom and takes him to the Bride's house.
However, in contrast to the Hindu ceremony, in Muslim ceremonies the groom's mother presents the bride with jewelry and sarees and then she goes to change into her wedding saree and jewelry. Later the groom and his father and along with the bride's father then meet to sign the official mahr contract ritually giving the Bride a set amount of money as her dowry.
In a Muslim ceremony the bride and groom are seated separately along with family and friends of the same gender each bride and groom with a huzur who asks both if they accept the other as their partners and if they say "qobul" (meaning I accept) then they sign the wedding document and are officially married and then seated next to each other and ask for the blessing of their family and God. Then music begins to play and food is served and women especially from the groom and bride's side of the family dance and take picture and talk with the guests.
The next morning (preferably before noon), a "Bashi Biya" or is held, and the new couple leaves for the groom's house that evening. This is known as the bidaay (lit., "goodbye or farewell") ceremony.
When the bride is greeted by the groom in the morning of "Bou Bhaat", a ritual called "Bhaat Kapor" is initiated by the groom where he gifts the bride with essential accessories of a married woman, sari and other auspicious things on a plate of silver (these items are given by husband only and not by in-laws of bride); nowadays they also use other metals like brass etc. This signifies that the groom would hence be taking care of all the needs and requirements of his bride from that day onwards. After receiving all these items from her husband, the bride takes blessing from her husband and hence begins the rituals of "Bou Bhaat".
The following day, i.e., the second day of the bride at her new home is celebrated as Bou Bhat as on this day, she serves rice with ghee to all her in-laws at lunch.
The evening is celebrated as a reception party, where all the distant relatives along with the close ones from the groom's side are invited and introduced to the bride. The bride's family members 'Konyajatri' also attend the reception with 'tatwo' (gifts of clothes, sweetmeats, jewellery, and all other essentials for the bride and her in-laws).
A grand feast is carried out called 'Preetibhoj'- It is a gala dinner to introduce the Bride to the society and the whole of the family. In the old days the dinner was all prepared by the family themselves. Sweets were made at home by 'Vien'. Friends and neighbors used to volunteer to distribute the food, which was usually done on banana leaves. But now the Catering Service has taken over the whole initiative.
In the past, weddings would take place in the wife's home as community centers were not available. Many people would be invited to the wedding. In the villages, in the past, the women would sing geet, a traditional type of song sung at weddings and dance. Nowadays, modern music has taken over the geet and most of the weddings are held at community centers. [3] Nowadays, some weddings are made as a joint program where the biye and boubhat are arranged together and jointly sponsored by the parents of both the wife and the husband.
The Chittagong region has some really unique traditions than Bengali traditions of other divisions of Bangladesh. One of the unique wedding rituals of Chittagong is "Boujōrni" (Bengali: বউজড়নী) or "Joragantha" (Bengali: জোড়া গাঁথা). There's another event in Chittagong's Bengali culture which takes place at the night before the bride gets to the in-laws house after marriage called "pansholla" (Bengali: পানশল্লা) and it is observed by both Muslim and Bengali Buddhists. Just like how the groom, along with his friends and family, traditionally arrive later in the evening and which is called "Borjatri" (Bengali- বরযাত্রী), in Chittagongian society there's another tradition which is similar but instead of groom side it's the bride side and it's known as "Sōari" (Sawari) (Bengali: সোয়ারী). The word "Sawar" is a word which means "ride" and it's used among South Asian communities. It is believed that because the bride used to ride on a "Palki", it is called Sawari. The "Borjatri" is known as "Boirati" (Bengali: বৈরাতী). The people from the "Boirati" get served by "Duruch pōlao" (Bengali: দুরুচ পোলাও) which is a type of Bengali pilaf originated in Chittagong. The "Duruch" is made by marinating whole chicken with Bengali spices then it gets burned a bit directly on flame and then fried in oil. And another dish is called (Bengali: নুন্নুচ) "Nunnuch" and it's a type of curry.
A wedding is a ceremony where two people are united in marriage. Wedding traditions and customs vary greatly between cultures, ethnic groups, races, religions, denominations, countries, social classes, and sexual orientations. Most wedding ceremonies involve an exchange of marriage vows by a couple, presentation of a gift, and a public proclamation of marriage by an authority figure or celebrant. Special wedding garments are often worn, and the ceremony is sometimes followed by a wedding reception. Music, poetry, prayers, or readings from religious texts or literature are also commonly incorporated into the ceremony, as well as superstitious customs.
Baraat or Varayatra is a groom's wedding procession in Indian subcontinent. In Indian subcontinent, it is customary for the bridegroom to travel to the wedding venue on a mare, accompanied by his family members.
The culture of Bangladesh is intertwined with the culture of the Bengal region of the Indian subcontinent. It has evolved over the centuries and encompasses the cultural diversity of several social groups of Bangladesh. The Bengal Renaissance of the 18th early 19th centuries, noted Bengali writers, saints, authors, scientists, researchers, thinkers, music composers, painters, film-makers have played a significant role in the development of Bengali culture. The culture of Bangladesh is deeply intertwined with the culture of the Bengal region. Basically Bengali culture refers to the culture of Bangladesh. The Bengal Renaissance contained the seeds of a nascent political Indian nationalism which was the precursor in many ways to modern Indian artistic cultural expression.
A Hindu wedding, also known as Vivaha, Marathi: Lagna (लग्न), Bengali: Bibaho (বিবাহ) Kalyanam or Pelli, is the traditional wedding ceremony for Hindus. The wedding ceremonies are very colourful, and celebrations may extend for several days. The bride's and groom's home—entrance, doors, wall, floor, roof—are sometimes decorated with colors, flowers, and other decorations.
Gaye holud or gatro horidra (গাত্র-হরিদ্রা) is a ceremony observed by Bengalis of Bangladesh and in the Indian states of West Bengal, Tripura and Assam regardless of their religion.
Weddings in India vary according to the region, the religion, the community and the personal preferences of the bride and groom. They are festive occasions in India, and in most cases celebrated with extensive decorations, colour, dresses, music, dance, costumes and rituals that depend on the community, region and religion of the bride and the groom, as well as their preferences. India celebrates about 10 million weddings per year, of which about 80% are Hindu weddings.
Iranian wedding, also known as Persian wedding, consists of traditions rooted in Zoroastrianism, the primary religion of pre-Islamic Iran. Though the concepts and theories of marriage have been changed by Islamic traditions, the ceremonies have remained more or less the same as they were originally in pre-Islamic Iran. Although modern-day Iran is a multi-ethnic country, Iranian wedding traditions are embraced by the majority of ethnic groups in Iran.
Marriage in Pakistan pertains to wedding traditions established and adhered by Pakistani men and women. Despite their local and regional variations, marriages in Pakistan generally follow Islamic marital jurisprudence. Marriages are not only seen as a union between a husband and a wife, but also an alliance between their respective families. These traditions extend to other countries around in the world where Overseas Pakistani communities exist.
Punjabi wedding traditions are a strong reflection of Punjabi culture with ritual, song, dance, food, and dress that have evolved over centuries.
The Kupari consist of Kadodi Christians and Samvedi Christians, which are a Roman Catholic Brahmin sub-group in the Christian Bombay East Indian community, of the people of Konkan division. They are concentrated mostly in Bassein (Vasai), India, which is about 60 kilometres (37 mi) north of Mumbai (Bombay) city. Kadodi ancestors were a mixture of Samvedi Brahmins, Goan Konkani Brahmins& Portuguese New Christians; because of intermarriages between them. The population is about 40,000 to 45,000. The two Konkani dialects spoken by the Kuparis are Samvedi Boli Bhasha and Kadodi, which are a mixture of Gujrati, Marathi & Indo-Portuguese. 97% of the population is Roman Catholic and the remaining minority is a mixed population of various Protestant Revolutionary denominations.
The culture of Gujarat is both ancient, new, and modern.
Arabic weddings are ceremonies of matrimony that contain Arab influences or Arabic culture.
Bengali Hindu wedding refers to the traditional Bengali cultural wedding, usually with Hindu rites and rituals native to the Bengal region of Indian subcontinent which has been practiced through centuries. It has almost uncountable rituals that connect culture, mind and families.
Muslim marriage and Islamic wedding customs are traditions and practices that relate to wedding ceremonies and marriage rituals prevailing within the Muslim world. Although Islamic marriage customs and relations vary depending on country of origin and government regulations, both Muslim men and women from around the world are guided by Islamic laws and practices specified in the Quran. Islamic marital jurisprudence allows Muslim men to be married to multiple women.
The Telugu Hindu wedding ceremony is the traditional wedding ceremony of the Telugu people in India. In the 19th century, the ceremony could last up to sixteen days. In modern times, it can last two or more days, depending on the family's financial and social status. The pelli or wedding is considered the strongest of social bonds, and is said to spiritually merge two souls opening the doors to gruhastaashramam. There is a Telugu saying that "Marriage is supposed to be a family union and not an individual formality." However, with changing mindset of the younger generation and due to globalization, marriage these days is being mainly focused solely on the union of the young couple only.
Bahaghara is a wedding ceremony performed by Odia Hindu people in the Indian state of Odisha. There are subtle differences in the rites observed by different castes. In Odia marriage rituals, the mother of the bridegroom does not take part in the ceremony. The Utkala Brahmins have their weddings only in the daytime, preferably at midday or in the morning, while the other caste weddings are done during the evening or night. There is the custom of sending betel nuts to family friends for inviting them to the marriage. The first invitation is sent to the family deity as a respect to the lord. Marriages in Odisha are mostly fixed and arranged by the parents. Marriages for serving or capturing is not common.
A Bou bhat is a post-wedding ritual held usually one or two days after a Bengali wedding. In this ceremony a party is hosted by the groom's father or family, where both the bride's and groom's family members and friends are invited. A grand banquet is held at the end of the party which is called Preetibhoj or Preetibhoja and is similar to a gala dinner. In Bengali Muslim wedding after the bou bhat party, the bride and groom go to the bride's family's house for two nights. On the second day, the groom's family is invited to the bride's house for a meal, and they leave with the bride and groom. This meal is called firani or araiya. Shopping is done by the groom for this meal. Similar tradition can be found in other cultures in the Muslim world such as the Walima ceremony.
Traditional Hajong marriage is a ceremonial ritual that involves a marriage established by pre-arrangement between families. Within Hajong culture, romantic love and widow re-marriage was allowed, and monogamy was the norm for the Hajong people.
Mrinalini Devi was a translator and the wife of Nobel laureate poet, philosopher, author and musician Rabindranath Tagore. She was from the Jessore district, where her father worked at the Tagore estate. In 1883, at the age of nine, she married Tagore.