"You Know What You've Done" Released: 19 January 2024
Extended Edition cover
Traumatic Livelihood is the debut studio album by English singer Jazmin Bean,released on 23 February 2024,through Aswang Birthday Cake,Interscope and Island Records. Bean wrote and recorded the album over a six month period starting in June 2022;they worked primarily with producer Matt Schwartz,alongside Jonny Coffer,John Feldmann,Travis Barker,Imad Royal,Ilan Rubin,Jessica Winter,and others. Musically,Traumatic Livelihood departs from the heavy metal stylings of their debut extended play (EP) Worldwide Torture (2019) in favour of a pop sound. Its lyrics explore Bean's past traumas and experiences,and address themes of identity,redemption,retribution,empowerment,and healing.
Traumatic Livelihood received acclaim from music critics,who praised its songwriting and themes. Kerrang! and Ones to Watch listed it as one of the best albums of 2024. The album spawned four singles,"Piggie","Favourite Toy","Terrified",and "You Know What You've Done",and was supported by a headlining tour of North America and Europe,the Traumatic Livelihood World Tour,which took place between September and October 2024. An Extended Edition of the album,featuring four acoustic songs and the single "It's Not My Fault (It's Yours)",was released on 6 September 2024.
Background and recording
In October 2019,Jazmin Bean released their[a] debut extended play,Worldwide Torture,through their own record label Aswang Birthday Cake.[2] The EP garnered attention for its blend of pop and heavy metal elements and accompying visuals showcasing Bean's extreme makeup style.[3][4] After the songs "Saccharine" and "Hello Kitty" gained traction online,Bean signed to Interscope and Island Records,who reissued Worldwide Torture with six bonus tracks in October 2020.[2] By 2021,Bean was working on what was expected to be their debut album,[4] which they later categorized as "electronic pop slash summer industrial".[5] Bean's record labels did not think the album was good,though they persisted and felt it was misunderstood.[6] They continued to release music whilst working on new songs in Los Angeles.[7] Work on the album was put on hold when—with the support of Interscope and Island—Bean checked themselves into a drug rehabilitation clinic in 2022 after struggling with an four-year addiction to ketamine,stemming from their traumatic experiences of being groomed by an older man between the ages of 14 to 17.[3][7] Upon leaving rehab in May 2022,[8] Bean revisited and decided to scrap the album as they found it stylistically disorganized[7] and did not want their songs to be self-pitying.[9] In a 2024 interview with Ones to Watch,Bean said that the scrapped album did not represent "true evolution" and felt it was "just fine for someone who is learning to do music".[10][b]
Bean worked on Traumatic Livelihood over a six month period[12] starting in June 2022,[8] and recorded more than 200 songs for the album.[3] They considered its writing process their "first attempt at real songwriting",[11] and credited their newfound sobriety with improving their songwriting skills.[5][7] They worked primarily with producer Matt Schwartz,alongside Jonny Coffer,John Feldmann,Travis Barker,Imad Royal,Ilan Rubin,Jessica Winter,and others,and recorded material at Destined,Livingston Recording,Noatune and Coffer's home studio in London,and Royal Studio in Los Angeles.[13] Wanting to break away from the genre and style they had become known for,Bean initially experimented with songs before deciding to pursue a pop direction,which "came naturally" to them.[5] Bean went into the studio with no fixed ideas to give them more room to express their emotions in a song,[14] whose lyrics were written before melodies were worked out between Bean and their collaborators.[15] They wrote lyrics based on whatever they were thinking about at the time,[11] and redid anything they considered "too extreme or free-thinking".[16] Bean felt their greater openness to taking producers' advice compared to in the past helped them to grow as a songwriter;they credited their main producer with pushing them in this respect,and for making the album sound cohesive.[17] Though finding it difficult to highlight any specific musical influences on the album,Bean cited "life and living a very new fresh version of life" as Traumatic Livelihood's biggest influence,[18] alongside the "glamour" of theatre.[9]
The first three songs written for Traumatic Livelihood were its title track,"Favourite Toy",and "Shit Show",which helped establish its direction;[7] Bean cited the latter song as the first that made them feel "secure in the album process".[19] "Piggie",another track written early on in production,was intended to act as a bridge between Worldwide Torture and the album[20] but was not originally intended to appear on its track listing.[14] Bean wrote "Fish" during a period of writer's block and was initially dissatisfied with the song,but later became more fond of it.[17] Bean cited "Black Dress" and "Stockholm Butterfly" as the hardest songs to write for the album emotionally.[16] The latter song,"Charm Bracelet",and the unreleased "Sock Puppet" were written after they attempted to pursue a legal case against their abuser,[5] which was thrown out due to their evidence being deemed unviable for court.[7] When deciding its track listing,Bean aimed to make Traumatic Livelihood "feel optimistic in some way and not just rotting in my pain".[7] None of the songs Bean wrote prior to entering rehab made it onto the album;[5] they attempted a "mashup" between their old and new songs at one point,but ultimately decided that their old songs were not as good and no longer represented them as a person.[17]
Composition
Overview
Musically,Traumatic Livelihood departs from the heavy metal stylings of Worldwide Torture in favour of a pop sound.[5][21][22] Luke Morton of Kerrang! and Alton Barnhart of SLUG both categorized it as alternative pop,[23][24] whilst critic Tom Hull considered it to be "a shade denser and artsier than pure pop".[25]AllMusic's Marcy Donelson described it as "symphonic synth rock".[2]NME's Kyann-Sian Williams and Lena Klasen of Diffus considered the songs to have movie-like qualities.[4][22] They feature orchestral arrangements,[26] unexpected rhythmic[4] and stylistic shifts,[27] and "huge" choruses,[23] and incorporate guitars and string instruments,[22][26] the latter which were intended by Bean to emphasize "timeless" qualities across the album.[9][21] Alfie Byrne of DIY highlighted Bean's vocals for their "deliberate intonation",which he described as recalling the "operatic side" of Marina Diamandis.[27]
Several critics highlighted the juxtaposition between the upbeat instrumentals and the darker tone of the lyrics,[24][27][28] which explore Bean's past experiences and traumas from around the time they were groomed[5][7][23] and address themes of identity,[4] redemption,[23] retribution,[5] empowerment,[24] and healing.[26] Bean viewed it as a "healing album",[3] and hoped that by displaying the feelings of shame they held over their experiences,their fans would feel less alone.[9][21] They also hoped that its songs would be "use[d] for all different emotions and times" instead of exclusively sad ones.[17] The album's title,which was coined before Bean went to rehab,was intended to represent the lack of a "healing timeline" from trauma and their mindset at the time of its conception:"I was dealing with a lot,I still didn't feel depressed. I still felt excited about life. You can be both sad and happy at the same time."[21]
Songs
Traumatic Livelihood's opening title track builds up from an "oscillating and roaming" guitar lead with layered vocals and strings[26] into a slacker rock chorus[27] with "thrashing" guitars.[4] Bean intended it as an affirmation of their mindset after leaving rehab,[3] and allude to their non-binary identity with the lyric "Maybe I'll never find out if I'm a boy or a girl".[4] "Piggie" is a "synth-pop/rock hybrid"[3] that calls out predators and paedophiles in the music industry[3] whilst making fun of some of the men Bean was in toxic relationships with.[20] "Favourite Toy" juxtaposes an upbeat instrumental[4] featuring arpeggiated strings[26] and synthesizers[28][29] against obstensibly nonchalant lyrics[26] detailing Bean's experiences of being "conditioned from such a young age not to understand what love is" and feelings of negative self-worth.[29] They said the song's "driving melody" was meant to have "an overall sense of hopefulness and catharsis" against the lyrics.[29] "Terrified" is a 1990s-inspired ballad featuring "moody" guitars and "warm" strings[30] over which Bean details their feelings of anxiety and safety in realizing they are in an honest,loving relationship after experiencing several abusive ones.[31][32] Bean wrote the song as they felt there were not many songs that presented love in an appreciative light,[7] and highlighted the lyric "The stars you breathe begin to brush my hair"—a deliberate contrast to the "Favourite Toy" lyric "I don't want my stars they are yours to keep"—as signifying a restoration of faith in others.[31] According to Still Listening's Eliot Odgers,"Is This It" sees Bean "[delve] into the dichotomy of glamour and vulnerability,with a narrative of hidden truths beneath the facade of perfection".[33] "You Know What You've Done" is an vengeful alternative pop song[34] targeted at people Bean felt hurt by,[16][17] and was conceived as a way to purge their feelings of remorse and revenge before they could forgive them.[14] It was misinterpreted as a breakup song by listeners upon its initial release.[3] "Shit Show" is about Bean wanting to escape "a truly unpleasant human" they were in a relationship with[35] that lied about their age and kept trying to contact them after it had ended. Bean felt the song best represented Traumatic Livelihood's "drama".[36] The song showcases Bean's "theatrical vocal delivery"[4] and its chorus blends orchestral strings with "dry" drums and distorted guitarwork.[26]
"Fish" is about being stuck in a cycle of being unable to fix a problem,[17] and combines synths and strings with "gritty" live drums.[26] Bean was inspired to write the song after a fishing game they were addicted to,which they associated with "not having a good time".[17] On "Black Dress",Bean reflects on their past friendships after gaining sobriety;[7] in the song's first verse,they recall their experience of doing drugs at the funeral of a friend who died of an overdose.[3]DIY's Alex Rigotti called it a "mournful ballad";[7] Rhian Daly of The Forty-Five also highlighted its "spacious" melodies.[28] "Best Junkie You Adore" sees Bean open up about their past ketamine addiction[3] and describe "squalor with intricate detail while [...] [hopping] around a pretty vocal line",per Byrne.[27] "Stockholm Butterfly" presents Bean's mixed feelings over the outcome of their legal case[7] as they look back on a specific event from their teenage years[3] and wish their abuser would die so they could not victimize anybody else.[7] In "Charm Bracelet",which Abby Kenna of Ones to Watch highlighted for its hyperpop-influenced sound,[26] Bean tells themselves to accept their lack of control over events and that they "just have to keep going".[5] "Bitch with the Gun" is marked by dynamic shifts,[26][28] and was described as a prideful reaction against the "heartache,opposition,and personal turmoil" explored throughout Traumatic Livelihood by Kenna.[26] "The Blood Brings Colour and Fluoresce",the final track on the album's standard version,is about "find[ing] magic in the badness"[37] and sees Bean compare life to tending a garden[21] over strings and "splashing" drums.[28] The Extended Edition bonus track "It's Not My Fault (It's Yours)" shares the themes of the main album with its exploration of the non-linearity of trauma.[38]
Release and promotion
"Piggie" was released as the lead single from Traumatic Livelihood on 9 June 2023,[20] followed by "Favourite Toy" on 11 August.[29] Three days after the release of its third single,"Terrified",[39] Bean revealed the album's title,cover,and track listing for on 16 October 2023.[32] "You Know What You've Done" was released as the album's fourth and final single on 19 January 2024.[34] A music video for "Shit Show" on 5 April 2024.[35]Traumatic Livelihood's visuals and music videos feature an spring and summer-influenced aesthetic[16][17] with flowers as a recurring element.[15][40] Bean intended the album's "world" to be more cinematic and personal,[18] and provide a further contrast with its lyrical content.[15][40] Having previously promised to stop doing so on their eighteenth birthday,[3][1] Bean dropped the extreme makeup style of their Worldwide Torture era and instead adopted a more glamorous look,[7][9] which they discussed in a 2023 interview with Gay Times:"No one really wants to be glamorous anymore—it's all about the,like,'cigarette butt on the tongue' vibes—but I feel like glamour is everything,glamour is forever. All the most timeless icons were glamorous. Plus,I love a superstar moment."[9]
Following an exclusive listening party at the Black Rabbit Rose in Los Angeles,where Bean hung out with 25–50 of their fans,[17][41]Traumatic Livelihood was released through Aswang Birthday Cake,Interscope and Island Records on 23 February 2024.[32] Bean embarked on a mini acoustic tour of the United Kingdom thereafter.[17] The album's promotion was affected by a dispute between Interscope and Island's parent company Universal Music Group (UMG) and the social media platform TikTok,which led to Bean's music being removed from the platform a month before its release.[5] After a planned deluxe edition was scrapped due to record label issues,Bean released an Extended Edition of Traumatic Livelihood on 6 September 2024.[11] The extended edition features four acoustic songs recorded as part of the Strawberry House Sessions alongside a new song,"It's Not My Fault (It's Yours)",which Bean recorded "on a whim".[11] They debuted the song live at Yungblud's Bludfest before releasing it as a single a week later,on 16 August 2024.[42] Bean then embarked on a headlining tour of North America,Europe and the United Kingdom,the Traumatic Livelihood World Tour,from 7 September to 28 October 2024.[43] During their live shows,they wanted to emphasize performance and audience interaction whilst making some improvements to stage design.[44]
Traumatic Livelihood received critical acclaim.[43][45] Byrne of DIY called it "an accomplished and immediate pop record",highlighting its "big production and even bigger messages".[27] Morton of Kerrang! praised the album's "organic" progression amidst its "orchestrated moments of chaos" and concluded it was "one of the most unrelenting and unflinching records of [2024]".[23] Williams of NME considered the album to be an "honest step forward" in Bean's artistry and highlighted its arrangements for "amp[ing] up the emotional impact of each song".[4] Klasen of Diffus felt the album "more than lives up to its expectations" and remarked that "despite the literal Traumatic Livelihood in its content,it exudes a positive underlying energy."[22][c] Though critical of its length and slow pacing of its tracks,SLUG's Barnhart believed the album would make listeners "feel bold and confident" in the moment "but think after the [album's] last song fades to silence".[24] Daly of The Forty-Five felt Bean was at their strongest when embracing "theatricality and drama" but faltered on "monotonous" tracks like "Fish" and "The Blood Brings Colour and Fluoresce";she nevertheless considered it to be a promising debut album.[28]
↑ In a September 2024 interview with Melodic Magazine, Bean said that the scrapped debut album was "definitely in the vault", but was open to it seeing a potential release in the future.[11]
↑ Quotes are translated from the original text: "seinen Erwartungen mehr als gerecht wird [...] und dabei trotz buchstäblicher Traumatic Livelihood im Inhalt eine positive Grundenergie versprüht."
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