Supporting characters
- Iqbal bin Ibrahim Maurice Kandallah
Five years before his appointment at Bromwell High, Iqbal had escaped from Parkhurst where he was serving time for an unspecified crime. He subsequently met Mr. Bibby in Angola where they operated a diamond smuggling business together and "dabbled" in human trafficking. After being forced to leave Africa in a U.N. helicopter gunship, Iqbal arrived in England with nothing but the shirt on his back, a faded five pound note in his pocket, and a Bedford van's exhaust chamber full of state-of-the-art hydroponic equipment and marijuana seeds with the potential street value, when cultivated, of £80,000 (equal to £81,000 today). With these simple tools, he ran a mini-cab company and built an empire that today covers many thousand square feet.
Although he had no formal academic qualifications (he does not believe in science, which he calls "hocus-pocus"), Iqbal rose quickly through the ranks to become Headmaster on the night he won Bromwell High in a poker game.
Since he began his tenure, Bromwell High has consistently succeeded in avoiding closure — testament, surely to the quality of leadership he had provided.
Gregarious and larger than life, Iqbal is not a conventional Headmaster by any stretch. His language is colourful though his understanding of basic grammar is non-existent. He tries to make money any way he can, which often involves illegal and unethical practices. He holds very long meetings and assemblies that are often filled with irrelevant and/or ridiculous anecdotes or performances (known unofficially as "Item 53", due to the fact that in each episode the bizarre story/act is promptly followed by Iqbal saying "Next on our list, item 54..."). He can be manipulative and cocky but beneath the rough exterior lurks a conscience, and occasionally Iqbal surprises everyone with (rare) moments of humanity and pastoral excellence.
Iqbal's Bromwell High file number is 1. He is voiced by Simon Greenall (of I'm Alan Partridge fame).
Roger Bibby read geography at Oxford University, where he won a Greco-Roman wrestling scholarship and had to pick an "academic" subject to graduate in.
In his first year, Mr. Bibby came under the spell of an emeritus professor whose study he accidentally wandered into one night thinking it was his own bed. It turned out that it was his own bed and that the "professor" was quite seriously mental. That night, a friendship began that eventually resulted in Mr. Bibby becoming a geography teacher.
Mr. Bibby is the Deputy Head of Bromwell High and the Geography teacher. Extremely articulate and knowledgeable, he has a very professional bearing. However, he is very stern and insensitive, and sometimes evil just for the sake of being evil (he has been known to be friendly with demons, and with Iqbal has links with the slave trade and diamond smuggling in Angola). In one episode he slapped Iqbal in the face just for crying. He is extremely manipulative, and therefore able to commit unethical acts with the Headmaster's consent.
Like the Headmaster, he is insatiably greedy and tries to make money through unethical practices. However, unlike the Headmaster, he is far more calculated when he implements his plans.
Mr. Bibby's Bromwell High file number is 159. He is voiced by Graeme Garden (of The Goodies fame).
Martin read mathematics at Cambridge though he never graduated. He was physically and sexually abused by his tutor, the head of the mathematics department, the rest of the mathematics department, the rowing club, the varsity football and rugby teams and the Christian society.
He spent three years as a research project for the School of Medicine—his blood pressure was found to be high enough to clean car wheels. He did not die, he only whined continuously. Research on Martin led to the development of Prozac.
Despite the fact that he was, and still is, the only mathematics teacher in the school, it took Martin five years to gain promotion to Head of Mathematics Department. His teaching has been described by Ofsted as 'cocking shite'.
Martin must always be watched. He has the kind of nervous disposition exhibited by people who take high-velocity rifles up clock towers to pick off passers-by. He is a spineless, ineffectual teacher who hates children, his job, and himself. In his late thirties, he is cripplingly middle-class and hides it by living in a Victorian terraced house in the shadow of a council estate in southeast London. He is the bane of Carol's life.
When he teaches he does not discipline his students when they act contemptuously. He is also extremely neurotic, and panics at the thought of anything going wrong for him. He does not have a proper teaching qualification; only a certificate in plumbing technology. He often cheats on his wife, Carol Jackson, although he claims that "using a prostitute is not cheating."
When Martin messes up or does something wrong he often hits himself on the head and says "fuck" even when students are present.
Iqbal's nickname for him is "Mongo" (a variant of "mong", an offensive term implying mental retardation, derived from the original name given to Down's syndrome).
He was born Martin Shitely but took his wife's surname after marriage.
Martin's Bromwell High file number is 657. He is also voiced by Simon Greenall.
Carol graduated from Hedgehog College, University of the Lake District, then attended teacher-training college at the Above Burger King School of Teaching, Oxford Street, London.
She then spent five years at the Amnesty International London office, waiting outside the main entrance. Nobody let her in but she did receive free psychiatric help and eventually accepted that she didn't work for Amnesty International and was in fact a nut.
She later met and married Martin Shitely, who took her name.
Carol is now an English teacher at Bromwell. She is in her 30s, wears organic clothes, and reads the Guardian. Carol understands people of all races and creeds except her husband Martin. She is discontented with the lack of intimacy and romance in her marriage; this is probably why she competes with Melanie Dickson for the attention of handsome men. She usually responds to Martin doing something stupid or wrong with "Oh, Martin, you idiot."
Carol's Bromwell High file number is 287. She is voiced by Doon Mackichan (from Smack the Pony ).
Miss Dickson graduated from the University of Pudwacker Salt Flats with a First Class Honours degree in Chemical Biology.
She immediately gained bar work in London and very quickly rose up the ranks to become Bar Manager of "Alcoholiday", an Aboriginal-themed bar in London's Leicester Square.
She moved to Bromwell High thinking it was another themed bar, but within a year she realised that she was Head of Sciences at an inner-city school.
She is an attractive but very rude woman who shows a lack of proper teaching skills. She often taunts and teases people who aren't as pretty as she is, especially Carol.
Originally from Australia, Miss Dickson now teaches all the subjects at Bromwell that nobody else will (History/Science/Music/Etc.) - very poorly. She seldom cares about the subjects she teaches and even chain smokes during class. She competes with Carol Jackson for the affections of handsome men, mainly because she has an insatiable libido.
Melanie's Bromwell High file number is 349. She is voiced by Tracy-Ann Oberman.
Mr. Phillips grew up in the quiet, crack-addled village of Chomping Frenum on England's west coast. He went missing at age 10, after chasing a worm into the forest. He strayed into an army firing range and was hit by three medium-sized surface-to-air missiles. Fortunately they passed straight through his skull, but he lost 80 percent of his brain matter.
On his way to an interview for a post at Bromwell High, Mr. Philips was caught in the crossfire of a gang-war shoot-out and lost 80 percent of his remaining brain matter.
Mr. Philips is Bromwell High's Physical Education teacher. He is often unaware of his surroundings or current situation, and is therefore utterly ineffective as a teacher. Iqbal refers to him as "the stupid one".
Mr. Phillips' Bromwell High file number is 999. He is voiced by Stephen Merchant.
Gavin was born in a crossfire hurricane. His mother was a tailor and his father was a gambling man. These circumstances made him turn to Christianity, which he hoped would provide some stability in his life.
He studied Theology at Durham University where he obtained a trombone scholarship.
He was ready to enter the church by 1990, in a poor east London parish where he felt he could help ease the suffering and assist the poverty stricken. He decided to defer a year and backpack around Thailand instead.
He claims to have written the novel "The Beach", the manuscript of which he says he left in a Bangkok dance bar, possibly in a Bangkok dancer. No one believes him because he has absolutely no proof and is generally considered to be "a lying twat".
Returning to the poverty-stricken East End parish, he was struck by how disgusting it was so he got a job teaching.
Gavin is now the Religious Education teacher at Bromwell High (he considered being a journalist for NME but became a Christian Fundamentalist without having to change his taste in acoustic-based rock). He acts casual in an effort to connect with his pupils, but this is a thinly-veiled attempt to convert his students to Christianity. He consistently offends followers of all other faiths.
Gavin's Bromwell High file number is 742. He is voiced by Stephen Mangan.
Ms. Gosby graduated from Oxford Mobile University in 1986. There are no records of her before this. There are, however, records for a Mr. Bruce Gosby, who seems to have vanished during his gap year before attending university.
Bruce was an accomplished rower who took first place in both coxless events. He enjoyed being coxless, as if he were waiting all his life to be without cox.
After teacher training, "Ms." Gosby taught sciences to inmates of Lezzborough Prison, Little Beanflick, Dykeshire. She was dismissed after her involvement in a rooftop protest.
Convicted of inciting a riot, Ms. Gosby was tagged by the police and considered dangerous and psychologically unstable.
She has since been appointed to Head of Biology at Bromwell High, and is also the lunchlady.
Other characters have hinted that she might be transgender.
Ms. Gosby's Bromwell High file number is 123.
Minor characters
Considered "cool" and attractive by many of the girls within Bromwell High. Although he is depicted as being intelligent, he is usually rebellious within school and rude to teachers and prefects alike. During the episode "1x06: Valentines's Day", the girls of Bromwell High witnessed him placing a valentine's card into Keisha's and Natella's box. It remains the episode's plot to see who the card is meant for. Although Davis and Aisha have many similarities, Davis has never mentioned that he likes Aisha. His "cool" status comes from his contempt for teachers and his skills in speaking. He is also apparently quite attractive.
Davis' best friend, although he is considerably less popular with the girls of Bromwell High. He is also considerably less intelligent, but less rebellious in school. Latrina has mentioned that she made out with Jamal.
T'Shawn is incredibly short and has a high-pitched voice. He is also depicted constantly wearing an orange jacket, regardless of location, weather, and temperature. These three qualities make him horribly unpopular with the children of Bromwell High. It has been established he has feelings of affection for Keisha, although she strongly dislikes him. T'Shawn's catchphrase is, "Oh, baby!"
Similar to Jamal and Davis, Aisha and Belisha are best friends. Aisha is large, strong, and constantly has an angry expression, so is feared by many Bromwell High students. Most of her bullying comes from intimidation, and not actual physical violence. Aisha strongly dislikes Natella and all of her noble causes.
Belisha is loud and brash. Unlike her best friend Aisha, she does not bully students exclusively through intimidation. She is quite willing (even happy, it seems) to physically harm students and damage property. Although she is relatively slim and only slightly tall, she is feared by all the girls, for she is very violent, and more than willing to fight (it can only be assumed that she is quite experienced in a fight, to make up for her small figure). She sometimes tries to outwit Miss Dickson into dismissing school early.
Kylie is a shy girl with bright red hair and bad acne. She is viewed as unpopular with the students of Bromwell and is picked on by Keisha, Aisha, Belisha, and many of the teachers.
A representative of the LEA (Iqbal believes this to be a secret organization, and her name to be Pussy Aplenty). She is rather cruel and manipulative individual, using the school, pupils and staff for her own and the LEA's rather shadowy ends.
