Kindness

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Two children sharing a soft drink at the White House, 1922. Fifty-fifty - something better than rolling Easter eggs (cropped).jpg
Two children sharing a soft drink at the White House, 1922.
Placard for kindness, at the People's Climate March (2017) People's Climate March 2017 in Washington DC 35.jpg
Placard for kindness, at the People's Climate March (2017)

Kindness is a type of behavior marked by acts of generosity, consideration, rendering assistance, or concern for others, without expecting praise or reward in return. It is a subject of interest in philosophy, religion, and psychology.

Contents

In Book II of Rhetoric, Aristotle defines kindness as "helpfulness towards someone in need, not in return for anything, nor for the advantage of the helper himself, but for that of the person helped". [1] Friedrich Nietzsche considered kindness and love to be the "most curative herbs and agents in human intercourse". [2] Kindness is one of the Knightly Virtues. [3] In Meher Baba's teachings, God is synonymous with kindness: "God is so kind that it is impossible to imagine His unbounded kindness!" [4]

History

In English, the word kindness dates from approximately 1300, though the word's sense evolved to its current meanings in the late 1300s. [5]

In society

Human mate choice studies suggest that both men and women value kindness in their prospective mates, along with intelligence, physical appearance, attractiveness, and age. [6]

In psychology

Studies at Yale University using games with babies concluded that kindness is inherent to human beings. [7] There are similar studies about the root of empathy in infancy [8] – with motor mirroring developing in the early months of life, [9] and leading (optimally) to the concern shown by children for their peers in distress. [10] :112

Barbara Taylor and Adam Phillips stressed the element of necessary realism[ jargon ] in adult kindness, as well as the way "real kindness changes people in the doing of it, often in unpredictable ways". [10] :96 & 12

2018 Women's March in Missoula, Montana 2018 Women's March in Missoula, Montana 97.jpg
2018 Women's March in Missoula, Montana

Behaving kindly may improve a person's measurable well-being. Many studies have tried to test the hypothesis that doing something kind makes a person better off. A meta-analysis of 27 such studies found that the interventions studied (usually measuring short-term effects after brief acts of kindness, in WEIRD research subjects) supported the hypothesis that acting more kindly improves your well-being. [11]

Weaponized kindness

Some thinkers have suggested that kindness can be weaponized to discourage enemies:

If thine enemy be hungry, give him bread; and if he be thirsty, give him water to drink; for by doing so thou shalt heap coals of fire upon his head.

You should respond with kindness toward evil done to you, and you will destroy in an evil person that pleasure which he derives from evil.

Teaching kindness

Kindness is most often taught from parents to children and is learned through observation and some direct teaching. Studies have shown that through programs and interventions kindness can be taught and encouraged during the first 20 years of life. [13] Further studies show that kindness interventions can help improve well-being with comparable results as teaching gratitude. [14] Similar findings have shown that organizational level teaching of kindness can improve the well-being of adults in college. [15]

See also

Related Research Articles

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Altruism is the principle and practice of concern for the well-being and/or happiness of other humans or animals largely independent of that person's opinion of or reaction to oneself. While objects of altruistic concern vary, it is an important moral value in many cultures and religions. It may be considered a synonym of selflessness, the opposite of self-centeredness.

Psychological egoism is the view that humans are always motivated by self-interest and selfishness, even in what seem to be acts of altruism. It claims that, when people choose to help others, they do so ultimately because of the personal benefits that they themselves expect to obtain, directly or indirectly, from doing so.

<span class="mw-page-title-main">Happiness</span> Positive emotional state

Happiness is a complex and multifaceted emotion that encompasses a range of positive feelings, from contentment to intense joy. It is often associated with positive life experiences, such as achieving goals, spending time with loved ones, or engaging in enjoyable activities. However, happiness can also arise spontaneously, without any apparent external cause.

Positive psychology is a field of psychological theory and research of optimal human functioning of people, groups, and institutions. It studies "positive subjective experience, positive individual traits, and positive institutions... it aims to improve quality of life."

<span class="mw-page-title-main">Daniel Goleman</span> American author and science journalist

Daniel Goleman is an American psychologist, author, and science journalist. For twelve years, he wrote for The New York Times, reporting on the brain and behavioral sciences. His 1995 book Emotional Intelligence was on The New York Times Best Seller list for a year and a half, a bestseller in many countries, and is in print worldwide in 40 languages. Apart from his books on emotional intelligence, Goleman has written books on topics including self-deception, creativity, transparency, meditation, social and emotional learning, ecoliteracy and the ecological crisis, and the Dalai Lama's vision for the future.

Empathy is generally described as the ability to take on another person's perspective, to understand, feel, and possibly share and respond to their experience. There are more definitions of empathy that include but are not limited to social, cognitive, and emotional processes primarily concerned with understanding others. Often times, empathy is considered to be a broad term, and broken down into more specific concepts and types that include cognitive empathy, emotional empathy, somatic empathy, and spiritual empathy.

<span class="mw-page-title-main">Compassion</span> Moved or motivated to help others

Compassion is a social feeling that motivates people to go out of their way to relieve the physical, mental, or emotional pains of others and themselves. Compassion is sensitivity to the emotional aspects of the suffering of others. When based on notions such as fairness, justice, and interdependence, it may be considered partially rational in nature.

Sympathy is the perception of, understanding of, and reaction to the distress or need of another life form.

<span class="mw-page-title-main">Gratitude</span> Feeling or attitude in acknowledgement of a benefit that one has received or will receive

Gratitude, thankfulness, or gratefulness is a feeling of appreciation by a recipient of another's kindness. This kindness can be gifts, help, favors, or another form of generosity to another person.

Pity is a sympathetic sorrow evoked by the suffering of others. The word is comparable to compassion, condolence, or empathy. It derives from the Latin pietas. Self-pity is pity directed towards oneself.

Empathy-altruism is a form of altruism based on moral emotions or feelings for others.

<span class="mw-page-title-main">Buddhism and psychology</span> Buddhism, Mindfulness and Psychology

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Prosocial behaviour is a social behavior that "benefit[s] other people or society as a whole", "such as helping, sharing, donating, co-operating, and volunteering". The person may or may not intend to benefit others; the behaviour's prosocial benefits are often only calculable after the fact. Obeying the rules and conforming to socially accepted behaviors are also regarded as prosocial behaviors. These actions may be motivated by culturally influenced value systems; empathy and concern about the welfare and rights of others; egoistic or practical concerns, such as one's social status or reputation, hope for direct or indirect reciprocity, or adherence to one's perceived system of fairness; or altruism, though the existence of pure altruism is somewhat disputed, and some have argued that this falls into the philosophical rather than psychological realm of debate. Evidence suggests that prosociality is central to the well-being of social groups across a range of scales, including schools. Prosocial behavior in the classroom can have a significant impact on a student's motivation for learning and contributions to the classroom and larger community. In the workplace, prosocial behaviour can have a significant impact on team psychological safety, as well as positive indirect effects on employee's helping behaviors and task performance. Empathy is a strong motive in eliciting prosocial behavior, and has deep evolutionary roots.

Life skills are abilities for adaptive and positive behavior that enable humans to deal effectively with the demands and challenges of life. This concept is also termed as psychosocial competency. The subject varies greatly depending on social norms and community expectations but skills that function for well-being and aid individuals to develop into active and productive members of their communities are considered as life skills.

Humanity is a virtue linked with altruistic ethics derived from the human condition. It signifies human love and compassion towards each other. Humanity differs from mere justice in that there is a level of altruism towards individuals included in humanity more so than in the fairness found in justice. That is, humanity, and the acts of love, altruism, and social intelligence are typically individual strengths while fairness is generally expanded to all. Humanity is one of six virtues that are consistent across all cultures.

Michael McCullough is an American psychologist and author. He received a PhD from Virginia Commonwealth University in 1995 and an honorary doctorate from the University of Louvain (UCLouvain) in 2015. He is a Professor of Psychology at the University of California, San Diego, where he directs the Evolution and Human Behavior Laboratory. He studies the functions of human behavior and emotions using the conceptual tools of evolutionary psychology and cognitive science. He has conducted research on the measurement of forgiveness, empathy, altruism, prosocial life goals, and early life experience. He is the author of The Kindness of Strangers: How a Selfish Ape Invented a New Moral Code and Beyond Revenge: The Evolution of the Forgiveness Instinct.

Elevation is an emotion elicited by witnessing actual or imagined virtuous acts of remarkable moral goodness. It is experienced as a distinct feeling of warmth and expansion that is accompanied by appreciation and affection for the individual whose exceptional conduct is being observed. Elevation motivates those who experience it to open up to, affiliate with, and assist others. Elevation makes an individual feel lifted up and optimistic about humanity.

Moral emotions are a variety of social emotions that are involved in forming and communicating moral judgments and decisions, and in motivating behavioral responses to one's own and others' moral behavior. As defined by Jonathan Haidt, moral emotions "are linked to the interests or welfare either of a society as a whole or at least of persons other than the judge or agent". A person may not always have clear words to articulate, yet simultaneously knows it to be true.

<i>Against Empathy</i> 2016 book by Paul Bloom

Against Empathy: The Case for Rational Compassion is a 2016 book written by psychologist Paul Bloom. The book draws on the distinctions between empathy, compassion, and moral decision making. Bloom argues that empathy is not the solution to problems that divide people and is a poor guide for decision making. However, he is not completely against empathy; he believes that empathy can motivate kindness to make the world a better place.

References

  1. Aristotle. Rhetoric. Translated by Roberts, W. Rhys. Book 2, chapter 7. Archived from the original on December 13, 2004. Retrieved 2005-11-22.
  2. Nietzsche, Friedrich Wilhelm (1996) [1878]. "On the History of Moral Feelings". Menschliches, Allzumenschiles[Human, all too human: a book for free spirits]. Translated by Faber, Marion; Lehman, Stephen. University of Nebraska Press. Aphorism 48.
  3. Singla, Parvesh. "Character". The Manual of Life: Understanding Karma/Right Action. Parvesh singla via Google Books.[ page needed ][ self-published source? ]
  4. Kalchuri, Bhau (1986). Meher Prabhu: Lord Meher. Vol. 11. Myrtle Beach: Manifestation, Inc. p.  3918.
  5. "kindness". Online Etymology Dictionary.
  6. "Can Babies Tell Right From Wrong?, Babies at Yale University's Infant Cognition Center respond to "naughty" and "nice" puppets". New York Times (TimesVideo). May 5, 2010. Archived from the original on 2015-07-12.
  7. Goleman, Daniel (1989-03-28). "Researchers Trace Empathy's Roots to Infancy" . New York Times. p. C1.
  8. Goleman, Daniel (1996). Emotional Intelligence. London: Bloomsbury. pp. 98–99.
  9. 1 2 Phillips, Adam; Taylor, Barbara (2009). On Kindness. London.{{cite book}}: CS1 maint: location missing publisher (link)
  10. Curry, Oliver Scott; Rowland, Lee A.; Van Lissa, Caspar J.; Zlotowitz, Sally; McAlaney, John; Whitehouse, Harvey (2018). "Happy to help? A systematic review and meta-analysis of the effects of performing acts of kindness on the well-being of the actor". Journal of Experimental Social Psychology. 76: 320–329. doi: 10.1016/j.jesp.2018.02.014 .
  11. Tolstoy, Leo (1910). "January 30". A Calendar of Wisdom.
  12. Malti, Tina (2021-09-03). "Kindness: a perspective from developmental psychology". European Journal of Developmental Psychology. 18 (5): 629–657. doi:10.1080/17405629.2020.1837617. ISSN   1740-5629. S2CID   228970189.
  13. Datu, Jesus Alfonso D.; Valdez, Jana Patricia M.; McInerney, Dennis M.; Cayubit, Ryan Francis (May 2022). "The effects of gratitude and kindness on life satisfaction, positive emotions, negative emotions, and COVID-19 anxiety: An online pilot experimental study". Applied Psychology: Health and Well-Being. 14 (2): 347–361. doi:10.1111/aphw.12306. ISSN   1758-0846. PMC   8652666 . PMID   34668323.
  14. Datu, Jesus Alfonso D.; Lin, Xunyi (June 2022). "The Mental Health Benefits of kind University Climate: Perception of Kindness at University Relates to Longitudinal Increases in Well-Being". Applied Research in Quality of Life. 17 (3): 1663–1680. doi:10.1007/s11482-021-09981-z. ISSN   1871-2584. S2CID   255275797.

Further reading